The Fun Factor

Talking to Doctor ********************************* [1] Provisional Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor." ********************************* [2] Unstable "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!" ********************************* [3] Better after Surgery "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?" "Yes, of course..." "Great! I never could before!" ********************************* [4] Dumbfounded Man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!...

A friend in need is a pest indeed. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train. Born free taxed to death. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. It's not hard to meet expense s, they are everywhere. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. The hardest part of skating is the ice. My phone number is 17. We got one of the early ones. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. The troub...

• Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. • Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal • At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh! Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? • A blonde was being admonished by the doctor: Until the penicillin cleans out ur infection, u r to have no relations whatsoever! Pausing for a moment, blonde replied: Ok, but what about friends & neighbors? • A French guest, staying in a hotel in New York, phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" said the Frenchman. • A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony. The history professor asked the psychology professor, "Have you read Marx?...