The Fun Factor

Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else. Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday. Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon? Pupil : The moon. Teacher : Why? Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it. Waiter : Would you like your coffee black. Customer : What other colours do you have? My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. Pupil : Did you know that the most intelligent person is going deaf? Teacher: Really. Who is it? Pupil : Pardon. Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed? David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated. Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and Stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student : Brotherly love. Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam : ...

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" *************************** 2. Daryl Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted. *************************** 3. Glenn McGrath and Eddo Brandes McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?" Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a cookie." Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics. *************************** 4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said t...

Can't get into the house? Don't worry! There's always the spare key under the welcome mat. When a kid's dog runs away, it's usually been picked up by a mean bad guy. At the end of the movie, there will be a contest between the kid and the mean bad guy to see who gets to keep the dog. The dog is put in the middle of the two characters and they both have to call it at the same time. The one who the dog runs to gets to keep it. The dog will always start to go to the bad guy, but at the last second will go to the kid. If the bad guys don't steal (or get paid with) money, they steal bearer bonds and they always remind everyone that they are untracable. The villain will almost always kidnap the hero's woman in an atempt to destroy the hero's heart and spirit, but instead it gives him the will to go on and ends up being the villain's downfall, or the woman he kidnaps will end up defeating him. Any kind of music in a club, at a dance, etc, always has a bac...

AIRPLANES Piston-engine airplanes in the movies are unusually subject to engine failure. This failure mode is unique to filmdom - engine coughs, keeps running. Hero doesn't notice. Then it stutters, catches again. Hero notices, taps gas gauge, turns lever. Then it stutters exactly three times and stops immediately, including propeller. No further efforts are ever made to restart. ALCOHOL Only men are alcoholics. Any hopeless alcoholic can quit drinking when faced with an important challenge. The instant the alcoholic stops drinking, all his faculties return and he faces no annoying withdrawals. ALIENS If there is more than one or two of an alien race, they are always roughly the same size as humans. Aliens usually speak english and have same colloquialisms. planet. All members of alien species wear the same outfits, including clothing, hairstyles, and jewelery. This makes them readily identifiable. Aliens who do not dress like aliens are hiding something. This may, in fact, be a c...

ELEVATORS Movie elevators are always ready at that floor. But if the hero/heroine is being chased, elevator won't come. If hero OR villian takes an elevator, villain OR hero can beat it by taking stairs, even if the trip is 20 floors. Most elevator shafts and wires are clean and dust/grease free, and there's plenty of light so that the hero neither gets dirty nor needs a flashlight or some other equipment to see (Speed). When one character is pursuing another (good guy after bad or vice versa) and they reach the elevator just before it closes, they never stick their hand in the door so it will automatically open back up, nor do they press the call button to get the door to open. ENVIRONMENT Thunder and lightning always happen at the same time. Storms start instantaneously: there's a crack of thunder and lightning, then heavy rain starts falling. Heavy rain causes no loss of long-distance visibility. Everything is blue at night-time. Caves always have flat floors, and it...

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The main man in China! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East. Condi: That's correct. George: The...