The Movie Cliches List 1

ELEVATORS

Movie elevators are always ready at that floor. But if the
hero/heroine is being chased, elevator won't come.
If hero OR villian takes an elevator, villain OR hero can beat it by
taking stairs, even if the trip is 20 floors.
Most elevator shafts and wires are clean and dust/grease free, and
there's plenty of light so that the hero neither gets dirty nor needs a
flashlight or some other equipment to see (Speed).
When one character is pursuing another (good guy after bad or vice
versa) and they reach the elevator just before it closes, they never stick
their hand in the door so it will automatically open back up, nor do they
press the call button to get the door to open.

ENVIRONMENT

Thunder and lightning always happen at the same time.
Storms start instantaneously: there's a crack of thunder and
lightning, then heavy rain starts falling.
Heavy rain causes no loss of long-distance visibility.
Everything is blue at night-time.
Caves always have flat floors, and it's never fully dark.
There is always someone in the canal or the storm drain when the flood
hits.
The moon is always out at night (except for those cheaper movies where
the sun is still out..).
Full moon can occur for several nights in a row.
Eclipses happen frequently, and without any warning.

EVIDENCE

Incriminating evidence can be found either as photograph number four
in a stack, or in the next to bottom drawer.
Be sure to leave your important tapes, such as the one labelled
"Incriminating evidence against Senator Smith showing him taking
$24million in bribes and then fondling the drug lord's daughter" or your
computer floppy disks labelled "All the nuclear launch codes are on here"
where they can be easily found.
All characters keep detailed newsclippings of important events in
their lives, particularly those events that must be painful to recall,
such as the loss of the character's immediate family due to their own
negligence. NB: If the news report would have come out while the character
was in jail or on the run, all the more reason for the character to have
kept it intact.

FENCING/SWORDPLAY

At some point in a duel, the hero and villain will cross swords at
face level, allowing them to grip each other's weapon while making
nasty/sarcastic comments before they break the clinch and continue
fighting. (Why doesn't anyone just ram the sword guard into their
opponent's face, stun him, and then finish him off?)
If the hero and villain's swords cross at or below waist level, they
will break the clinch, fall back, and pause -- despite the fact that a
simple upthrust into the opponent's belly after the break would end the
duel right there and then.
If there is a candelabra, the villain will show how talented he is
with a sword by cutting the candles and watching them fall over; the hero
will do the same but the candles won't fall until _after_ the villain has
made a comment about the hero's lack of fencing ability, at which point
the hero will topple the cut candles, showing that he is more skilled than
the villain because _his_ candles didn't fall over from the force of the
cut.
During a duel, the hero will jump or climb onto a
table/bench/piano/platform that raises him above the villain. At that
point, the villain will swipe at the hero's legs, which the hero avoids by
jumping up in the air over the villain's blade. _Very_ rarely, the
positions are reversed.
Duels usually have one scene where the actors go out of frame and you
watch their shadows fighting.
If the villain wounds the hero in his sword arm, one of three things
will happen:
- hero becomes ambidextrous and fights with sword in other hand;
- hero finds something else to defend himself with (tapestry, chain,
  Mossberg 12-gauge) that can be used with the other hand;
- hero's girlfriend/sidekick comes up behind villain and impales him,
  thus saving hero.
If hero is disarmed by villain, one of three things will happen:
- villain will show a trace of honour and allow hero to get his sword;
- hero will make mad dash/leap over or around villain to regain sword;
- just when it looks like the end, hero's girlfriend/sidekick throws a
  sword to him, which he manages to grab easily (for the _best_ send-up of
  this concept, check out ARMY OF DARKNESS where Ash jumps in the air and
  his chainsaw magically clamps back onto his wrist -- it's beautifully
  shot and extremely funny!).
If there are stairs, the hero will be forced up them backwards by the
villain, at which point the hero will either leap to the ground or swing
from a rope/chandelier/tapestry to get away.
If there is a tapestry or chandelier, the hero will cut it loose and
drop it on the villain's henchmen _unless_ the movie is a comedy, in which
case the hero will drop it on his own men by accident.

FIGHTS

If a character uses martial arts rather than a weapon, his opponents
will always face him one-to-one. Spare bad guys may dance around the fight
taunting our hero, but none will engage until his predecessor has been
disposed of. And if it's an oriental martial arts film, they will fight in
perfect one-two rhythm and form, hit-block-hit-block.
Two guys or a bunch of guys go at it, repeatedly bashing each other in
the face with massive blows, or hitting each other with chairs, sticks,
refrigerators, whatever -- and they go one doing this, sometimes for
minutes at a time.
People can be rendered inoperative by bumping them on the head.
Beware, though; after you have left the scene, this person will regain
consciousness and be more determinted to attack you.
Clasping your hands together and hitting the bad guy's back will also
guarantee unconsciousness
All fights taking place on the edge of a canyon, tall building, or
other high place require at least one bad guy to get plugged by a bullet,
arrow, or other missile weapon, causing to fall, but keeping him alive
enough to hear his scream of terror echo as he plunges to his doom.
Corollary: whenever someone falls off of a cliff or building, no
matter how much damage they take beforehand, they scream, even if they
were shot through the lungs twenty or thirty times, or were apparently
unconscious.
In the West, the favored hand-to-hand combat technique is to throw
yourself prostrate on the other guy and hug him.
When a villian is trying to murder someone with a knife, they'll often
use just one hand. The victim meanwhile (usually a woman) is using both
hands to restrain the villian's arm and keep the knife from stabbing her.
But the murderer will NEVER simply use his other hand to take the knife
and easily stab the victim. (see also Knives).

FOOD & EATING

Pastries are always in plain pink boxes. When we see a plain pink box,
we expected to know that the box contains donuts or cake or some related
item.
All movie mothers will prepare a breakfast, usually consisting of
scrambled eggs, bacon, etc. Dad and the kids will invariably arrive at the
table 30 seconds before Dad has to leave for the office and the kids have
to catch the school bus. Each will have time only for a sip of
coffee/juice and/or one bite of toast. There must be enough food left over
in these homes to feed an emerging nation!

HELICOPTERS

In movieland, there's an abundance of corrupt helicopter pilots.
Villains have no problem renting a helicopter complete with pilot who
doesn't mind shooting total strangers, or being shot at.
When a helicopter is hit by a bullet or rocket, it'll explode
immediately if it contains a villain, but if the hero is on board, it will
loose power, smoke will come out of the doors, and it'll just reach the
ground in time for the hero to get clear then duck just at the moment it
explodes.
People standing outside a running helicopter can always talk in normal
or just slightly louder than normal voices.
A pursued hero, with the bad guys just yards behind him, can jump into
a shutdown helicopter, run through the twenty-five item startup checklist,
engage and spin up the rotors, take off and be out of pistol range before
the bad guys catch up.
Bullets shot at a helicopter bounce off the fiberglass and aluminum
"fuselage" components but make neat little holes through the plexiglas
bubble.
When a helicopter's engine dies, the main rotor immediately stops and
the helicopter drops straight to the ground. If a bad guy is flying, the
helicopter disappears in a ball of flame, but good-guy pilots just get
out, dust themselves off, and walk away.
When a turbine-powered Bell Jet Ranger helicopter is shot at, it's
engine coughs and sputters, chugs along for a little while as the helo
staggers through the air uncertainly, and then crashes using the good/bad
pilot algorithm noted above.
Every helicopter shutting down emits the chirp-chirp-chirp sound of
the rubber drive belts disengaging, in spite of the fact that only the
famous Bell 47G (the Mash chopper) actually makes this sound.
Piston helicopters always start up with screaming turbine engine
sounds.
Rambo-style pilots can fly with one hand on the cyclic stick while the
other fires an automatic weapon out the door. The helicopter automatically
knows when to change altititude to fly over obstacles without the pilot
worrying about that pesky collective pitch control.

HEROES

If the hero has a psychological/phsical problem which has prevented
him from effectively dealing with problems, you can rest assured that this
problem will disappear at an opportune time.
The hero always misses the villan leaving the scene by seconds.
Stripping to the waist makes the hero invulnerable.
The hero will always be paired off with a female character. The
sidekick never will.
The hero's best friend/partner will usually be killed by the bad guys
three days before retirement.
The hero's new wife will be mowed down by 80 machine guns right after
the wedding or during the honeymoon.
Heroes can go without food or sleep, with no measurable drop in
physical or mental faculties, for at least 72 hours.
The hero will always have a small trickle of blood in the right corner
of his mouth after a fight. His lip will never be split in the middle, and
his upper lip will always be invulnerable. He will wipe the blood from the
corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, then look at it. If his
face displays any other injury, it will usually be a small abrasion on his
right cheekbone. He will wear a band-aid on this for one day, after which
it will be miraculously healed.
The hero will always refuse the assistance of friends or medical
personnel after a fight.
If the hero gets into a second fight, his most injured body part will
always be punched or kicked.
A hero will show no pain even during the most terrific beating, yet he
will wince if a women attempts to clean a facial wound.
When a hero is paired with a weak sidekick, that sidekick will
invariably save the hero's life at a crucial moment, or show remarkable
proficiency with weapons in a key scene.
If the hero is a white male and has an assistant/sidekick who is
either not white or not male the assistant/sidekick will die, preferably
in an act of heroic sacrifice.
If the movie hero has a sidekick and he mentiones his family in the
first two minutes of the film, the sidekick will surely be killed.
The movie hero is (almost) always divorced, but he still has some
contact with his ex-wife who tells him that she could not stay married to
him because she loves him too much.

HOUSES

People never answer the door until the doorbell or knocking has
sounded at least three times.
The hero lives in New York City working at some okay, but not
particularly high-paying job, and yet he or she has a roomy apartment
filled with nice stuff, generally with a good view, and sometimes a nice,
romantic rooftop to go to.
People never get out of the house when there is obvious danger there
(ghosts, murderers).
People who hear something weird outside will go OUT to look, even if
they know there's a homicidal maniac on the loose.
When someone's in bed and hears a sound outside, he'll get up and turn
the lights on before looking out of a window, even if this usually
guarantees that he'll never be able to see anything going on.
When an intruder is in the house, the occupant will snuck along a wall
with his back pressed to it tightly and his arms out a bit from his body,
palms flat agaisnt the wall.
When there's an intruder somewhere in the house, the thing that jumps
at the heroine in the dark turns out to be her cat, even if it comes from
places cats wouldn't be, like inside a cupboard! As soon as she relaxes,
the killer will show up and strangle her.
Any apartment in Paris will have a view of the Eiffel Tower.

I would like to be perfectly clear that I found "Independence Day" to be
a great deal of fun and a thoroughly enjoyable motion picture.
However, I
realized that there were a number of things about which I was completely
ignorant until I saw "ID4." The following is a list of things that I did not
know until I saw "Independence Day":

It is reasonable to assume that the quality of the training of United
States Marine Corps pilots is such that any Marine fly boy could hop into
an alien spacecraft and immediately be able to fly it into deep space
The White House press secretary has a listed phone number
When stuck in a tunnel and faced with Armageddon in the form of a
fireball that is capable of obliterating all life in Los Angeles, simply
duck into a maintenance closet and let the end of the world pass you by
Despite the fact that we are able to send a fax from a beeper on our
hip while walking down a street in San Francisco to a Range Rover in
Johannesburg, alien spacecraft need to be hardwired to a satellite to
speak to each other
High class strippers with a heart of gold can operate most heavy
equipment
It is not beyond the realm of imagination that the President of the
United States would be a fighter jock and would be willing to return to
active duty to do battle with invincible alien bad guys
Alien spacecraft the size of Australia can be taken out with one
well-placed sidewinder missile
Most laptops are configured with interfaces powerful enough to
override the communications systems of the most sophisticated futuristic
societies
Despite the fact that they wear biomechanical body armor that can only
be removed with a scalpel and the fact that they possess hyper-developed
brains that allow them to destroy their enemies simply by thinking about
it, alien fighter pilots have a glass jaw and can be knocked unconscious
for hours with one punch
If you are a woman who: 1)survives a blast from an alien spacecraft
that wipes out Los Angeles 2)lives through the ensuing helicopter crash
3)survives while buried by rubble 4)survives despite being transported by
open backed diesel truck across the worst terrain ever created...do not
check into a military hospital with the best medical help money can buy
because YOU WILL DIE
Despite the fact that no living person, even on a clear day with a map
and two state troopers providing an escort, can negotiate the Los Angeles
freeway system without getting lost, nearly-blown-up women can drive
through the shattered ruins of a decimated Los Angeles straight to El Toro
When you crash an alien spacecraft into the high desert because you
were hurtled back through the earth's atmosphere by an atomic blast you
set off, the fact that you do not have a parachute or any other visible
means of slowing your fall does not mean that you should not walk away
from the wreckage completely unscathed and straight into your girl's arms
The standard trip home from space, when assisted by an atomic blast,
lasts approximately two to three pulls on a cigar
Although aliens possess technological capabilities millions of years
beyond our own that enables them to embed secret codes in our satellite
network, they can be stymied by Morse Code, which is generally printed on
the front panel of a child's walkie talkie
The most sophisticated labs in the world have impenetrable vault doors
buried 30 stories into mountains but use regular hardware store glass
panes for observation rooms in the lab nerve center
Although aliens possess tentacles dexterous enough to manipulate human
vocal cords from outside the throat when the need to speak strikes them,
they can not open a door for themselves
The correct military honor for a hero who saves the world by
sacrificing his own life by flying directly into the alien death ray is to
clap and cheer wildly in front of the hero's family immediately after he
perishes
Any vehicle, including clunkers, can make the trip down from Manhattan
to Washington D.C. in just a few hours in gridlocked end-of-the-world type
traffic

INJURIES

When the hero is knocked out, he won't get a concussion or brain
damage. People hit on the head will not throw up.
When a hero gets a bloody nose, he'll stop bleeding almost
immediately.
When a hero suffers through car chases and crashes, he never has to
worry about unfelt spinal injury from impact.
A slight blow to the head is usually enough to cause total amnesia
Characters that get shot will never go into shock.
The hero will always get shot in the shoulder, yet will be able to use
his arm.
A facial scars is likely to make you go insane and seek revenge for
the rest of your life.
If you lose a hand, it causes the stump of your arm to grow by six
inches.
A lost hand either comes crawling back, or a mad surgeon will replace
it with one transplanted from an executed strangler.
If a person gets shot they have plenty of time to tell all kinds of
things except the most important information (like the name of the
murderer).
A person shot to death will immediately do just that - die. Their
bodies do not flop and jerk around for a few minutes as the muscles
contract involuntarily and sporadically as the brain dies a slow
electro-chemical death (as with real gun-shot deaths).

KIDS/TEENAGERS

A kid always knows more than an adult.
A kid can fend for himself even if his parents have gone to Paris,
leaving him with no food, electricity, heat, money, etc.
No child can ever be killed...even if they're electrocuted on a
high-voltage electric fence that could kill a dinosaur (Jurassic Park)
Eight to ten-year-old kids are the best computer hackers on earth and
can break into any system.
Girls who can't find a date to the prom in high school films are
usually the girls that, in most high schools, would have almost every
teenage boy asking them.

KNIVES

When you throw a knife, the blade will always be the first thing to
hit the target
unless you turn the knife around first.
A competent knife thrower can work equally well with throwing knives,
Swiss Army knives, butcher knives, table knives or swords.

LANGUAGE

Even when depicted as foreigners (including aliens from outer space)
all actors speak and understand a common language (usually English) unless
the film's plot depends on a language barrier.
When foreigners appear in movies (hispanics in particular) they seem
to be able to speak perfect english without making one single mistake
except it seems they NEVER manage to learn how to say "Sir" or "Thank
you"... they always say "Senor" and "Gracias"

LIGHT

A malfunctioning or burnt lightbulb usually means that someone is
hiding in the room, ready to jump on our hero/heroine while he/she's busy
hitting the switch or tapping the bulb.
When someone lights a match in a dark old house (etc) and the single
match has as much power as a 1000 watt bulb! Alternatively, they light a
match, and then light an old oil lamp which has a vast amount of power.
When people switch a light off, it will still be possible to see
everything in the room, just in a slightly subdued/bluish colour...
Lightbulbs blow up when:
something psychic happens;
someone
opens the power box, rips out the biggest cable, and touches it to the
rest of the stuff in there;
If the lightbulbs are in a row, they blow
in timed sequence.

LOCKS

Any lock can be picked with a credit card or a paper clip. Any safe
can be opened in a few minutes with a stethoscope or some high-tech
equipment with lots of blinking lights.

MEDICAL

More often than not, the best method to revive somebody after their
heart has stopped, assuming that there has already been a lengthy attempt
to revive them with CPR, those electric zapperthings, ect., is screaming
at them something like:
"You never backed away from everything in your
life, now fight! Fight! FIIIIGHT!" or
"You can't do this to me! I love
you, goddammit!"

MEN

When men drink whiskey, it is always in a shot glass, and they always
drink it in one gulp. If they are wimps, they will gasp for air, then have
a coughing fit. If they are macho, they will wince briefly, flashing
clenched teeth.
Men on rafts, jungles, deserts or other extended duty don't have to
carry razors because their beards don't grow. Counterpoint: Unless they
drink, in which case 3-day stubble appears in 3 hrs.

MIDDLE AGES

Medieval peasants always have filthy faces, tangled hair, ragged
clothing - and perfect, gleaming white teeth. (cf. Braveheart, any Robin
Hood movie).
If you are a princess, you always have a favorite lady in waiting, and
you always send her to warn the hero of the evil king's intention just in
time.
Corollary: the lady in waiting is never quite as beautiful as the
princess; however, she still always catches the eye of the hero's
sidekick.
In a swordfight, you can always parry behind your back, and you must
always find a set of stairs to fight on so that the loser can roll down
them and die at the bottom.
Horses never get winded, throw a shoe, etc., until the pursuing
sheriff is right behind the hero.
Corollary: the wagon that breaks an axle or gets stuck in the creek is
always the one carrying the king's entire treasury, which he totes around
with him every time he goes gallivanting through bandit-infested
countryside.

MINORITES

Minorities such as Native Americans or Asians will always have some
sort of mystical knowledge or inate fighting skill. For example, the
Native American always knows the course of events to come from some sign
in nature, and Asians are all born with Martial Arts skills they can use
to battle the bad guys.

MONEY

Gangster's Briefcases either contain weapons or banknotes. No one ever
got coins at a robbery.
Briefcases are designed to hold exactly three rows of banknotes. As if
it had power by itself money likes to be sorted in nice packs and rows,
even if it had been thrown into the briefcase ba a terrified casher at a
bank.
When you use a movie taxi don't ever give any change. Drivers won't
know what to do with it. Just say "thank you" when you pay a bill, reach
into your pocket without looking, take out whatever note is in it - it
will just fit. (see also CABS)
Same is true in restaurants. Checks are always designed to be 15
percent under the sum the male customer has in his hands first.

MONSTERS

After fleeing a monster, you will want to call for help from a public
phone within ten feet of where you last saw the monster.

MOTORCYCLES

Motorcycle engines in movies can inexplicably change from 4-stroke
Otto cycle to 2-stroke cycle operation.
Motorcycles usually change from Harley Davidson choppers when engaged
in highway operations to Yamaha Dirt bikes when operated off-road (as in
"Then Came Bronson"). Police Harleys will morph into Triumph Bonnevilles
when operating in tight quarters (on the ship in "Magnum Force").

MUSIC

Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions
- can be played without moving the fingers.
Native musicians are highly skilled, and can make simple instrumental
bands sound like a full light orchestra.

NIGHTMARES

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright ("boing!") in
bed. Instead of just lying there going "eeewww!" as most of us do.

PHONES

All phone numbers begin with 555.
People speaking on the phone never introduce themselves, and never
ever say "good-bye" at the end of a conversation.
A ringing phone is usually picked up within 3 seconds.
Don't give the person on the other end of the phone time to say what
they have to.
You also never have to look up a phone number, for anyone.
When a phone line is broken or someone hangs up unexpectedly,
communication channels can be restored by frantically beating the cradle
and saying "Hello? Hello?".
Always knock over the phone if it wakes you up. If you are expecting a
call, make sure that you pull the covers up completely over your head so
that knocking it over becomes easier. All houses have phones next to the
bed.
There's a dial tone to be heard on A's phone immediately after B has
hung up on his/her end.
The Movie Telephone Time Vortex.
How often have you seen something
like this:
Phone rings. Hero/Heroine picks it up. "Hello. Yes. O.k.
Right. Thanks, Goodbye." (Total elapsed time on phone: 5
seconds.)
Hero/Heroine turns to other character: "That was John. He
says that the Marilyn left for the lawyer's office about an hour ago, and
she should have been there by now. He's called the lawyer's office but
Marilyn apparently never got there. He also called Bill's, thinking she'd
stop by there, but Bill hasn't seen her. John says he's going to call
Anne, as Marilyn said she and Ann were going to go shopping sometime
today. If she's not at Anne's, he's going to call the police. He suggests
that we drive over to Mario's and check with him as to whether or not
Marilyn told Wally about the statue. However, he thinks this is unlikely
as Marilyn doesn't trust Wally, she only trusts us and Fransisco. John
also suggests we try to get in touch with Fransisco . . . ."
On the subject of phones, how about variations of the Bob
Newhart-style conversation where we only get to hear one side of the
conversation, as in: Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet?
(PAUSE) And you already called Bill's? (PAUSE) What did he say? (PAUSE) He
hasn't seen her either. (PAUSE) So, John's getting nervous? (PAUSE) He's
going to call the police...
If I'm not mistaken, the conversation must
have gone like this:
"Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office
yet."
"Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet?"
"No, and
I've already called Bill's."
"And you already called
Bill's?"
"Yes."
"What did he say?"
"He hasn't seen her
either."
"He hasn't seen her either."
"John's getting pretty nervous
about this."
"So, John's getting nervous?"
"Yes, he's going to call
the police."
"He's going to call the police..."
When phone-calls are traced you can see a map on the screen with a
beam closing in on the caller, and the caller always knows how long he can
talk before he has to hang up to not be traced down. He always manages to
say everything perfectly timed for 2 minutes.
Video-phones display pictures of the callers looking straight into the
camera. The camera must be in the middle of their screen, in other words.
If the hero tries to call someone he needs urgently he won't need more
than three rings to know that he/she is not there.
If someone wants to call the hero, he/she will let the phone ring
forever before hanging up, expecially if the caller does not know that the
hero has to fight his way to the phone through a bunch of bad guys.
A person is placing a phone call to a company, such as "Sports
Illustrated." The phone at the other end is picked up, and the person
PLACING the call says, "Hello, Sports Illustrated?", as if they are
checking to make sure they called the right place.
What this means is
that at a major company, someone is answering the phone with "hello" and
that's it! Not, "hello, Sports Illustrated, can I help you?" or anything
like that, just "Hello!"

POLICE

Police Captains/lieutenants are always angry at their star detective
and yell at him, threatening suspension if he doesn't drop the case.
Corollary: it is only _after_ the detective has been suspended that he
can properly crack the case.
Many police chiefs are in constant contact with their city's mayor who
will often "chew their ass" about a single criminal investigation out of
the thousands going on in a city. (note: See "I Married an Axe Murderer"
for a hilarious send-up of the "mean chief" cliche.)
The police will never question the hero, even if he kills lots of bad
guys
The cops never show up during massive gun battles in city streets that
involve bystanders and exploding cars. After the fact, you might just a
siren in the distance.
More murders always happen during the investigation of the first one.
The last living suspect is the murderer.
Most homicide detectives are brooding, near-crazed loners, most likely
divorced or widowed, borderline alcoholics. Of course, there are more
respectable-looking detectives, but they are inept and not nearly as tough
as their mentally-troubled colleagues.
Many detectives are recruited directly from the police academy,
therefore accounting for youthful "seasoned detectives" (see "Speed,"
"Kuffs," "Stakeout").

PREGNANCY & CHILDBIRTH

The fact that a woman is pregnant or the fact that she notes her
pregnancy is introduced by a scene where you hear the woman vomit.
Whenever a woman announces to her husband/boyfriend that she's
pregnant, it comes as a complete surprise to him, whether pleasantly or
otherwise.
No one is in labor for hours and hours... they pop out babies in a
matter of minutes.
No one is ever offered an epidural or medication, everyone uses lamaze
(pant method), but they often scream at & demean those around them.
Most babies are born clean, with perfectly shaped heads and dry hair
All movie babies are born HUGE, usually the size of the average two
month old.
Women who give birth are perfectly made up afterwards

PRISON

In jail, there must be a brutal guard and an evil scheming warden.
Inside a prison there is always a boss among the convicts. Usually
he's black, blind and crippled surrounded by tough black musclemen, and he
is the one the white hero has to see to get something.
In a prison or a gymm, when someone is about to be threatened, it
usally takes place when the subject is on his back pumping iron and the
bar is lowered onto his neck thus reshaping the windpipe and driving some
point home.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Time will stand still when when the hero is in the presence of a
company logo.
When a character picks up a bottle of whiskey or a pack of cigarettes,
the label will always be clearly visible.
If the producers find no company to invest into the picture, strange
things happen to the world: gas stations have no brand names visible,
stars use no-name airlines (they often crash!), all smokers use silver
cases for their cigarettes.

RADIO, TV & VIDEO

A character turns on the radio just in time to hear a special
announcement or some important news item. Then turns the radio
off.
ex.:
CLICK
"Three escaped lunatics have been spotted
in . blah blah blah."
CLICK
The phone rings. Caller says, "You better check out what's on the news
on Channel 13". He turns on channel 13 and gets the report from the
beginning.
All televisions show cowboy-and-indian chase scenes a large proportion
of the time.
All VCRs in films are always cued up exactly to the portion of tape
you want to show someone.
You will always be able to backwind the tape *precisely* to the
beginning of the segment you want to see again.
Whenever anyone scans through a videotape or audio tape on home
equipment you can hear the audio portion of the tape being fast forwarded
or rewound.
Freeze frame is flawless.
Whenever someone reviews surveliance video taken from a preceeding
scene, the camera angle is never high above the actors, it's right up
close, and looks _a lot_ like the angle the film camera used when shooting
the picture. Aditionally, the audio is always crisp and clear, there's no
background noise, because all security cameras come equiped with boom
mikes.

RESTROOMS

In film, no one uses the restroom, except as a venue for escape. If
there are multiple people in the restroom, expect a minor character
revealation while they stand at the mirror

ROPES

When people are tied up in the movies, which is usually loosely and
incompetently, they can't escape without finding some convenient device to
burn or cut through the ropes.
Corollary 1: There is always a convenient device at hand.
Corollary 2: If the method involves burning the ropes, the person's
hands will be tied at least a foot apart.

The Fun Factor

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